It’s Been So Long
I actually thought about it. I seriously considered just not writing anymore. Too many people got hurt. Too many people were disappointed. Too many people genuinely cared about my what I wrote. And then I saw a post today by someone I admire greatly. It read “One Bad Chapter Doesn’t Mean Your Story Is Over.” That post has been haunting-slash-motivating me for the past 11 hours. One. Bad. Chapter. Doesn’t. Mean. Your. Story. Is. Over. Well then, what does one one bad chapter mean? Most likely, it means you are living life. Friends, I am here to write that while the pain of having your world unravel right underneath your nose hurts like hell, the rebuilding of it also feels crazy wonderful. I don’t write to reveal. I write to heal. I write to let myself know that I still feel all of it. The joy, the pain, the love, the anger, the fear and of course, the hope. Our family has grown. Not just in age, but in experiences. Stephen and Cynthia can read. They understand and are active on social media. I cannot write about Christmas or Elf on the Shelf and expect them not to read it. In the same regard, I cannot write about their achievements or their heartaches and think that it is okay for me to share. Big Stephen and I have spent the past two years putting up boundaries around our family so that we can be healthy adults and by the grace of God, raise healthy children. It’s been a process. A process that we continue to process on a daily basis. Thank you friends for understanding my absence. Thank you to Stephen and my children for loving me despite all of my flaws and all of the mistakes I make. While my time away was exactly what the doctor ordered, I still ached for my time where I could write and share. It feels good to know I am taking the first step towards writing again. I am looking forward to coming back with the best intentions. This is the beginning of that for me.